Thursday, January 12, 2012

Shattered

1977

I apologize, now, for my upcoming absence from these pages. A day. A week. A month. How long I do not know. For at my feet lie the fragments of my dear Mary’s heart, shattered this week when her first born, my eldest stepson, unexpectedly lay down his head, never to lift it again.

I must now steel myself and begin to tenderly pick up each raw shard. To do what I can to help put each precious piece back in its place. But the truth of the matter is that when her heart burst, a large piece was flung far, far away. Thrown to a place from which I will never be able to retrieve it. So, even with the finest of workmanship and puzzle-perfect placement, there will always be a hole that cannot be filled.

I know this for I have such a hole.

So forgive my absence while I try to do for my Mary what she so lovingly did for me, ten years ago, when my youngest lay down his head. When it was my heart lying in fragments at her feet.

Shattered.

We'll forever miss you, son

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46 comments:

  1. Bob DJanuary 12, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    so sorry, mike....

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  2. PATRIOT DREAMSJanuary 12, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    My prayers are with you and Mary. So sorry Mike.

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  3. Len HarrisJanuary 12, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    thinking of you and your wife.

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  4. Fontinalis RisingJanuary 12, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    Mike- my condolences and prayers go out to you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. We'll be here.

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  5. cofisherJanuary 12, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    Mike, my heart breaks for you and Mary. Please accept my thoughts of prayers during this difficult time.

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  6. JayJanuary 12, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    We'll all be thinking of you. Take care of Mary and yourself.

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  7. TravisJanuary 12, 2012 at 7:51 PM

    I'll be praying for you and your wife Mike, so sorry

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  8. Kirk MantayJanuary 12, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    I am really sorry that you are both having to go through this. I cannot imagine the heartbreak. You are in my prayers.

    Kirk @ River Mud

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  9. e.m.b.January 12, 2012 at 11:01 PM

    Take care of your and your Mary's hearts. You and your family will be heavy on my thoughts and in my prayers, Mike.

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  10. TC/Trout UndergroundJanuary 13, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    There are no words, but the thoughts of all of us are with you.

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  11. MarkJanuary 13, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    Mike, our thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

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  12. PatrickJanuary 13, 2012 at 11:49 AM

    May all of our thoughts and prayers be a comfort. My condolences.

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  13. Ken GJanuary 13, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    I can no longer remember where I heard this, but parents should never out live their children.
    I don't think our grown children realize that even when they are adults, when we see them stumble and fall, we still get that deep ache in the pits of our stomachs.
    My condolences to Mary and you Mike.

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  14. AnonymousJanuary 13, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    So sorry for the pain and loss. My condolences to you and your family.

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  15. AnonymousJanuary 13, 2012 at 2:17 PM

    All my thoughts are with you and your family at this time of unimaginable sadness.

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  16. Steve ZakurJanuary 13, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    Crap.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Mary and your family.

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  17. AnonymousJanuary 13, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    Wow Mike - Such eloquent words to describe your and Mary's loss. My heart goes out to the two of you.

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  18. AnonymousJanuary 13, 2012 at 7:04 PM

    Mike and Mary,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. As a parent who has lost a child, I know about the hole in your heart. You will never get over that loss, but you will get through it.
    My prayers are with you.

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  19. AnonymousJanuary 13, 2012 at 7:56 PM

    hold the memories close to your heart and be strong.

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  20. IvanJanuary 13, 2012 at 8:27 PM

    my thoughts are with you and your family, Mike.

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  21. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2012 at 2:15 AM

    As my father wrote to me upon the death of my son: We think we are alone as we row out to sea but we are not.

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  22. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    Mike and Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray that with time you can find some peace.

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  23. Mark ThienesJanuary 14, 2012 at 10:20 AM

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Put one foot in front of the other and keep walking. Take deep breaths, and cherish the memories.

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  24. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    I am so sorry for both of your losses. And so happy that you have each other. Together you will bring in a new Spring, cherishing what you share and what you have shared and the wonder and heartache that still lies ahead.

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  25. Grizzly WulffJanuary 14, 2012 at 11:12 AM

    The loss of a child is one of the greatest burdens we're ever asked to bear. Know that you don't bear it alone.

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  26. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    May God bless and comfort your family and let Death begin his retreat today.

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  27. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2012 at 1:29 PM

    I don't know you but I feel you pain. You are not alone.

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  28. APfromNCJanuary 14, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    My deepest condolences for your family's loss. I was very moved by your words.

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  29. Mark ColemanJanuary 15, 2012 at 8:53 AM

    Damn, Mike. Of all the things in life that don't seem fair this is the one that truly isn't. Persevere.

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  30. Dan ParentJanuary 15, 2012 at 1:49 PM

    So sorry for your loss.

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  31. AnonymousJanuary 15, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    Sorry for your loss. You and your family are in the prayers of me and my family.

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  32. AnonymousJanuary 15, 2012 at 8:34 PM

    TC said it right - there are no words, but thoughts of you and your family during these hard times will be coming from Wyoming. Taku

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  33. penbaymanJanuary 16, 2012 at 4:36 AM

    I am so sorry..

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  34. HighPlainsFlyFisherJanuary 16, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    My thoughts and condolences go out to you and your family....Jeff

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  35. Tom SadlerJanuary 16, 2012 at 7:52 AM

    So sorry for your loss. May you and Mary find what comfort you can in the thoughts and prayers from your many friends. May the fond memories sustain you in your times of sadness.

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  36. ttmannanJanuary 16, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mary.

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  37. NeilJanuary 16, 2012 at 8:03 PM

    Our thoughts and sympathies, from my family to yours.

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  38. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2012 at 9:55 PM

    this too shall pass.

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  39. dansout2cJanuary 17, 2012 at 1:05 AM

    Thoughts and prayers. Wish I could help more.

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  40. The Suburban BushwackerJanuary 18, 2012 at 9:14 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, there can be no worse fear as a parent. To have that fear come true must be painful beyond my imagining. No one should have to go through what you your wife and his siblings must be feeling now.

    SBW

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  41. ChrisJanuary 18, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    God bless, Mike ... you and yours are in my prayers.

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  42. Dub The ThoraxJanuary 18, 2012 at 11:51 PM

    Sorry for your loss. :(

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  43. Jeff MadreJanuary 19, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    I'm sorry to hear this Mike. I hope that you and your wife are able to make peace with his passing.

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  44. ChrisJanuary 19, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Words are not enough Mike. My sincere condolences to your and Mary.x

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  45. Pete McDonaldJanuary 19, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Mike. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

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  46. deanwoJanuary 23, 2012 at 11:46 PM

    Words can't sooth this loss, Mike. My deepest condolences & prayers to you and your wife, Mary.

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